Eric is........???

I've been reading about a new ability through smartphones, and now Facebook, to constantly track your location and post it on social networking websites for all to see. I've even noticed a few of my Facebook friends using it. It caught my eye on Facebook because suddenly I was seeing status updates like:

John is.........home.

I found this puzzling, as John usually has something witty to say in his status updates, not that he's.......home.

So I was curious about this, and I read about it, and I've concluded that I'm not going to use the feature.

First off, my life is so boring, would anyone really care to know where I am at any given minute of the day? I seriously doubt it.

Second, I can think of several problems with posting my every location on-line for all to see.

Imagine how some of these location updates would look:

"Eric is.........in the morgue."

This would be bad, unless I was employed as a coroner...and everyone knew it. But if I get a new job and forgot to tell my mom about it..........uh oh.

"Eric is.......on the toilet." (1:37pm)
"Eric is.......on the toilet." (2:07pm)
"Eric is.......on the toilet." (4:56pm)

It wouldn't really matter if I just accidentally left my phone in the bathroom, or if I was really having potty issues. I'd never hear the end of it.

"Eric is.......at the nudie bar."

I guess my boss wouldn't have to wonder where I've been all afternoon anymore.

"Eric is.......at Chuck's house."
"Eric is.......in Chuck's bed."
"Eric is.......in Chuck's bed."
"Eric is.......in Chuck's bed."
"Eric is.......in Chuck's shower."

That'd be just awesome for the Mrs. to see on Facebook, wouldn't it? "Honey! I locked myself out of the house, and Chuck just let me take a nap and grab a shower over at his house before class tonight! I swear! His wife wasn't even home! Come ON! Stop throwing my stuff out the window into the street!"



Of course, it might be good for law enforcement agencies. Imagine a child molester's updates:

"Child Molester is.......at the park."
"Child Molester is.......at the Cub Scouts meeting."
"Child Molester is.......at ABC Daycare."

Yeah, it wouldn't take long for the police to be taking Child Molester to jail.



Or a probationer's status:

"Joe is.........in Maine."

Well, that's funny. I didn't give Joe permission to leave the State of Indiana!



Or:

"Joe is.........at Bubba's Bourbon Bar."

Bummer, dude. I hope that bourbon was good. Enjoy jail.



Or how about in criminal trials?

Defendant: "Your Honor! I'm innocent! I was nowhere near those armed robberies last night!"

Judge: "Oh, really? Let's check out your Facebook page."

"Brutus is............at 7-11." (1:00am)
"Brutus is............at Speedway." (1:22am)
"Brutus is............at Jiffy Mart." (2:02am)
"Brutus is............in the trees behind the Jiffy Mart." (2:05am)
"Brutus is............in jail." (2:30am)

I don't know how pinpoint accurate these things are, but I can envision a softball game:

"Eric is............at first base."
"Eric is............running toward second base."
"Eric is............out."
"Eric is............too slow to try to leg out a double."

Can you think of more reasons why you wouldn't want your every move tracked? Lemme hear your ideas in the comments section!