Go Away, Brett Favre

I play in a dynasty fantasy football league with, among other people, my brother-in-law. A dynasty league is one where we keep about half of our roster from year to year, and then we draft the other half of our team each year. So we keep the basic nucleus of our team from one season to the next. Thus, the term "dynasty."

My brother-in-law is rather, um, we'll call it fanatical about fantasy football. He runs the dynasty league, and that league opens for business on May 1. As if that's not early enough, my brother-in-law is already sending me trade offers. He's like a freakin' little kid at Christmas...in July.

At any rate, wanting to give his trade offers a fair look, I got on my favorite website for fantasy football news, and I was inundated with breaking "news" about Brett Favre asking for his unrestricted release from the New York Jets (twice!), what the timing of his request might mean as far as him coming out of retirement again, and how the Jets granted his release, and what the timing of their releasing him might mean as far as him coming out of retirement again, and what Favre's agent is saying about what Favre is doing right now and what that might mean as far as him coming out of retirement again, and on and on and on and on and on. And all of those "news" stories were posted today.

I am tired of Brett Favre. I will give it to him that he was a high quality player, back in his prime, for the Green Bay Packers. But as he aged, and his skills diminished, and his inability to avoid turning the ball over grew, the Packers understandably began the process of planning for their future without him. Favre, who is used to the likes of John Madden, Chris Berman, all of ESPN, and most of the rest of the sports media portaying him ad nauseam as some sort of superhero/demigod hybrid, got his panties in a twist when it became evident that the Packers were considering improving their chances of winning with a younger quarterback.

So he left the Packers twisting in the wind, finally deciding to play for them at the last second. The next year, he left them twisting in the wind again, but the Packers smartly said, "Screw you, Favre. You're not holding us hostage again while you extend your 15 minutes of fame into about four hours." A hyper-scrutinized public spat ensued, culminating in the Packers trading Favre to the Jets.

Seeing Favre in a Jets uniform was as weird as seeing Johnny Unitas in a Chargers uniform, Joe Montana in a Chiefs uniform, Jerry Rice in a Seahawks uniform, or Kenny Stabler in a Saints uniform.

As a kid, I was a huge Raiders fan, and Kenny Stabler was one of my favorite players. But now, when I think of him, I think of some old man, with long grey hair and a grey beard, playing about five years too long for teams--the Oilers and Saints--that he didn't belong with. He was a Raider, dammit! He shouldn't have worn any other jersey. And my memories of his glory years in the 1970's are tarnished by him dragging his career into the 1980's in Houston and New Orleans.

I don't remember the sports media covering every second of Stabler's life, though, and broadcasting and publishing it 24/7.

And this is why I can't stand Favre. ESPN loves drama and I'm pretty sure John Madden would marry Favre if he could, and between them and the rest of the media, along with Favre's ego, I never want to see him again.

You're a self-centered, narcissistic, egotistical ass, Favre. Your heyday is long gone. The Jets went 9-7 and missed the playoffs last year, in large part because you constantly turn the ball over, trying to be the hero. You're going to turn 40 this year. You're ancient in NFL terms. Hang it up. Your legacy is tarnished. I will now remember you as a washed-up annoyance--just as I remember Stabler as a tired old man in a Saints jersey--rather than the successful, strong-armed quarterback who led the Packers to glory 10 years ago. I'm sure you'll get into the Hall of Fame one day, assuming you ever really retire, and then you can have your day in the media sun again. Until then, though, crawl into a cave and don't come out.

When you started the same crap this off-season with the Jets that you did with Green Bay in your last few years there, the Jets wisely said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out," granted you an unconditional release, and promptly drafted their quarterback of the future in Mark Sanchez.

The Jets are tired of you. The Packers are tired of you. I'm tired of you. Just go away.